But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
