he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
