I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
