Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
