I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my phone needs a breathalizer
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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