i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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