3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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