i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
