I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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