That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
