If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize