I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
