I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
