Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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