my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
