that's an acceptable place to lick
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
vagina is talking i cant
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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