Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
