dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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