The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
