You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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