so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
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Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
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I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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