his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
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she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
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Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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