Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
