butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
