I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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