just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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