Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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