where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
