I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i think i have herpe
just one?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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