your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
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is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
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someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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