First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
