let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
