i always forget guys have bellybuttons
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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