We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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