11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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