Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
