i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
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After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
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That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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