I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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