Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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