hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
