did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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