My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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