So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
