we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
