I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
