Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
