We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Sorry my hands just texted you
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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