I just saw a hot homeless man
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
