I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
