I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
