I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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