its not stalking. its research.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Found the puke drawer
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
