There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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