I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
