there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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