i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
