Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
false alarm. still invincible.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
